Show Me How You Hug and I Will Know Who You Are.

Last week in Florida

Just the other day, my friends and I found ourselves in a rush to make it to an event we were running late for. Tensions were running high in the car as the person next to the driver grew nervous, urging the driver to step on the gas. In this chaos of running late and driving wild, a friend dropped a well-known saying: "Show me how you drive, and I will tell you who you are." It got us all thinking about the subtle cues we often overlook, ones that speak volumes about our personalities.

The Power of Hugs: A Personal Mantra

For me, it immediately brought to mind a personal mantra I've recognised as true, as it kept popping up as a pattern for the past couple of years. It goes like this: "Show me how you HUG, and I will know who you are."

The Silent Language of Hugs

I've always been someone who values physical touch – a hug, a comforting pat on the shoulder, or a reassuring arm around someone. There's something so powerful about the act of hugging I always found beautiful and honest, especially when it's reciprocated with warmth and sincerity.

 And so over time, I've come to trust in the silent language of hugs.

Just as body language can speak volumes (think of a firm handshake, it says SO MUCH), a hug can reveal aspects of someone's character and have a unique way of revealing a person's emotional state.

I'm not talking about romantic gestures here. I'm referring to the open-hearted embrace that speaks volumes about one's emotional disposition.

Insightful Aspects of Hugs

 I must say, I don’t think there's "right" or "wrong" way to hug, but they all offer an insight into where a person stands:

·      Are they comfortable with expressing their emotions?

·      How do they handle closeness and vulnerability?

·      Can they extend kindness and empathy to both friends and strangers alike?

·      Are they guarded or open-hearted?

·      Are they hurt and thus cold

·      Or are they warm, welcoming, and loving so much that you feel as if being healed by their embrace?

The strength and duration of a hug tell a story of their own. 

Think of your own? Do you feel comfortable hugging? Can you stay longer in a hug or you feel discomfort and want to “run away”?

Scientific Backing: Benefits of Hugs

Research, as highlighted by Theodora Blanchfield, a mental health writer, confirms what many of us instinctively feel: hugs have tangible benefits. They release oxytocin, the "love hormone," fostering trust, bonding, and overall well-being. Additionally, hugs have been shown to reduce stress levels and even lower blood pressure. These scientific findings underscore the profound impact of human touch on our emotional and physical health.

And I believe all of them. But I also believe our well-being starts with ourselves and our own choices. Whose choices are we undertaking in life? Are they really ours?

The Missing Link: Contact with Self

I truly believe all starts with self-awareness and self-care. And hugs can serve not only as the expression and as the extension of one’s state but also as a guideline to where you are on your journey of healing. 

Just as hugs send signal to where you are at, I don’t think we can be open to honest hugging and loving if we are constantly on the rush, on the go, on meeting others' expectations and going further away from ourselves. What I think the missing link is, is the contact with self.

Invitation to Explore Further

That is why I encourage you to start INSISTING on spending time with yourself and however you know - start to get know you, to get to love you, start doing more of the things you love doing, with what feeds your heart the most, and start going more inwards. It may, just may, affect your heart to start deepening, opening, softening. And trust me, this one then reflects on every possible level of your life, hugs just being one of many.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this perspective. Does it resonate with you? And if you feel called to explore further, consider immersing yourself in one of the retreat experiences. They offer a sanctuary for reflection, connection, and transformation. To anyone being called to start going WITHIN, I invite you to consider one of the retreats offerings that you feel best fits your interests. You can check them out here. After gatherings like these, what you will notice you will start hugging more honest too - because it all starts with you.